Beyond Fucked

Home

Dunedin, Taylor Swift,, Sleeping

 
A few weeks ago I went to Dunedin. I don't particularly like going to small towns but many of the things I attended I enjoyed.

Apparently comedians are meant to enjoy going to small towns. I need high buildings and a large population for a city to be enjoyable. That part of comedy wasn't going to sync with me. Random rant about comedy over. Since leaving stand up comedy I have learned some people perform to make themselves feel better. I however like being cynical. It's the same reason that some people constantly post positive crap on Facebook, they're just trying to cheer themselves up. I am very happy being bitter and don't need to pretend to be something I not. The world is beyond fucked.

Thursday I went to Auckland. The trip pretty much sucked apart from seeing Taylor Swift. It was good to spend more time on business blogs though.

Friday was the concert and it was surprisingly fucking awesome. All three performers were good. (CharliXCX and Broods also performed, though mostly couldn't understand a word the second band said) I particularly liked the light show from Taylor Swift which included lights on people's arm band syncing to the music, it looked awesome.

Replaced my third coffee of the day with hot chocolate, now I don't get insomnia as much even after typing for 6-8 hours. Though spent at least two hours listening to music before bed. Maybe I should test that volume of typing with one hour of music time but probably won't be soon.
 
Posted at 11/11/2018 21:45:14 EST 0 comments
 

Rants, SEO and Cher

 
Yes my monthly blog is late, I don't care. I have better things to do than to write about my life most weeks. Shock horror I'm not a narcissist that takes every opportunity to write about himself. You are lucky I bother to post crap on Facebook, or unlucky if you dislike my crap.

My friend requests are back to public. I have hidden my gender and display public "interested in men" to see if I can attract male spam bots. So far, nothing. I suppose that is a better consequence of hiding my gender from public but does say that blackhats have shitty algorthms that do not account for gays.

Conclusion: Received a friend request from a female bot, my theory didn't work. If they get too annoying I'm restricting friend requests again.

Speaking of blackhats. I have decided to focus more on SEO. (search engine optimization) I am not going blackhat but I am beginning to see blackhat SEO as a way to trick Google, experimenting more seems like a fun challenge and I'll probably dabble with it from time to time. I won't do anything illegal. However experimenting is worthwhile, I am just being a computer scientist. I don't really care about what hat I am wearing as long as I don't break any laws.

Most of my stuff will continue to be whitehat. Blackhat stuff is mostly useful for turn and burn stuff which I do not do. However recently I discovered evidence based SEO and that's interesting to me. If I can earn money with these experiments that's also good. I prefer long term assets but turn and burn could be useful for experiments. Just call me a mad computer scientist.

I am also creating SEO tools which I expect to use in a few months.

Last Wednesday I went to Sydney. Had some Jack Daniels samples at Duty Free, because I could. Sydney took a long time to get my wheelchair. Turns out we booked a non wheelchair friendly place, regulations in Australia must be crap. Apparently I had to be upgraded to the Deluxe room. If this is the Deluxe room I would hate to see what their regular rooms look like.

Thursday was the Cher concert. She gets a C for too many Costume Changes. I didn't like the way she performed Strong Enough. She didn't perform some of the songs I liked like You Haven't Seen The Last Of Me and This Is A Song For The Lonely. Definitely a C. Just call me a concert snob. I did stand far for almost the entire time though with my stand up wheelchair.

Friday I am spending most of the day writing blogs.

Saturday I am going home.

On the planes I blogged and watched Westside. The scheduling fucked up and my PVR didn't record half the episodes so it was good to watch it. TV selection otherwise has gone downhill.

Also it's totally fucking stupid having Antarctic scenery on the screens in our NEW ZEALAND national airline. What the fuck?

I probably should make more of a effort to have Grindr when I go to Australia.
 
Posted at 20/10/2018 23:37:40 EDT 0 comments
 

Pink, Bob Dylan, Concert, Business, Idea

 
It is Wednesday before I post this. I lead an exciting life. Just had some meetings since last time I blogged then going to a Pink concert tonight, second time seeing her. In Auckland. The flight attendant said that he knew how important my computer was to me. I am glad that I have a reputation as a computer geek. That wasn't sarcasm. I am a proud nerd.

Also saw Bob Dylan in Christchurch. My life is exciting comment seems less sarcastic now. For most of the show I couldn't tell where he was. It could have done with some screens. The mic was at the piano and you couldn't see it.

Business wise, still pretty fucked. One site is now receiving Google traffic. I need to get Google traffic on more sites and turn them into true assets. I have started my yearly half day holidays and planning to spend some of my holiday time developing sites. I am a geek with nothing else to do! I have no interest in seeking a partner, well at least not one that requires me to actually spend time with them, beyond the bedroom. I don't currently have someone suitable. So I guess my sites can do with my spare time. Again, total geek. #sorrynotsorry why am I putting hashtags in a blog?

The Pink concert was good. I didn't enjoy her covers, she has of own music. The DJ before her was crap. First band I didn't see much of, and that was fine. Was a bitch not getting General Admission tickets. I moved by the door before her last song but she was flying around the room for it so that was probably a mistake. Sister thought that she sounded better in Sydney. It all still a great concert with awesome effects. Great trip overall.

I almost want to try how the effects would work with stand up comedy. Perhaps once I am crazy rich from websites.
 
Posted at 06/09/2018 00:05:44 EDT 0 comments
 

Projects and speaking

 
For the past two months I have worked on integrating Print-On-Demand abilities into my event listing software and ecommerce software. Nearly fucking done, took much longer than expected. I can move on soon. Next I need to conquer social media automation, SMS APIs, and advertising APIs. Code for the first two is mostly complete. I should have some great products to use and to sell. I'm a crap seller but have learned some new techniques recently, fingers crossed! Was going to take some time off in August (half days) but I am busy so I can leave it until September, right prick for my spare time projects though.

Monday I spoke at Canterbury University, I love doing speeches. I'm going to turn my speech into an article for my disability site, even though Google still seems to hate that particular site for some reason. I will still try to improve content until things start to rank. I've started doing articles for my event listing software, plus I'm doing content for another set of sites, I am playing the long game. Hmmmm I want it shorter though.

I am going to take three months to do passion projects for half days as my holidays then with any luck I'll generate some income from passion projects to justify spending part time on them.

This may be boring but I don't lead an exciting life so fuck off if you don't like my rants.

Hopefully to FINALLY put my accessibility software to practical use later this month. Apparently I should work on releasing my text to speech queuing system too as some people don't have such software.
 
Posted at 05/08/2018 00:39:35 EDT 0 comments
 

Music video, projects, porn stars, YoutTubers

 
Another one of these, fuck.

Filmed a music video, not mine obviously. Though I could be a musician but I am not right now. Filming a music video was something on my to do list, was it a new years goal? Probably not, but let's say it was and I achieved it! Horray! Let's just ditch all the other goals because I have achieved fuck all of them. I can always put some back in. So I have achieved my only goal. Yipee! And people say you can't make your own reality! I say as long as you say you're doing it, it's ok!

Projects are dragging on and I want to do more passion projects. Hopefully I can finish off the boring crap in July and I can move on. The projects started off as passion projects but I'm sick of them, I want to move on. I have a bad case of shiny object syndrome but I view it as building things up. Surely more assets are a good thing. However I know what I want to focus on in future, but I need to finish current projects. I am hoping one of these projects will help me increase the profits from my comedy T shirts and that may help my production company. I think long-term.

I am following porn stars on Twitter, should I be admitting this? I don't care anymore. It's interesting, they tweet about how they want a relationship, though I guess that is what people do. Apparently they enjoy their job because they don't have to worry about STDs etc. I was told it was difficult to film but many say it's a good experience. Some have thousands of followers, some have fan accounts that actually seem crazy obsessed, many stars will retweet their fan accounts. I am finding this world fascinating. I am trying to grow a following by being one of the first to reply to pictures etc. Yeah I'll probably stop soon and try a different approach as growth has been slower the last few days.

Unrelated rant. Can't stand YouTubers that say guys, literally or actually every ten seconds. They literally annoy me and it's literally like nails on a blackboard. I was literally told repetition is a bad writing practice. I literally try to not do it anymore. See how fucking annoying it is? I should probably stop clicking on their videos.
 
Posted at 30/06/2018 20:54:47 EDT 0 comments
 

Richard Dawkins, business, sex

 
Since last blogging I went to a speech by Richard Dawkins, rather boring beginning but it was OK from the middle onwards. He was entertaining but extremely dreary at the beginning. I know he's not a entertainer, well hopefully. Presentation was still good, glad I went.

I follow more business people on YouTube, some appear to be assholes but some are OK. I followed someone because he said he does business to get laid, which I can totally relate but apparently socialism is evil, fuck the government, fuck paying taxes blah blah blah. You get those types in business I guess. Following business people helps you spot their tactics. Like "I am doing a webinar", but it's pre recorded and the person probably isn't doing the chat. What a bunch of crap. why pretend you're live when you're not. I also hate people who delay telling me the price and instead play a sales game. Give me the information or fuck off! I do not buy from people who do that shit.

I also watched a ton of drop shipping videos. Sounds difficult if you need to fuck around with ringing your bank to start, would be OK if you can talk. I'm doing too much to consider drop shipping, I'll stick to programming, print on demand and affiliate programs. Also you can't automate drop shipping, I like automation. Some people use virtual assistants to do it. Maybe I'll dabble in it sometime but getting other projects up is a priority.

I was reading a blog post and it says the disability community needs to talk about sex more. If it would increase the people who are willing to have sex with us I'll be all for it, but I don't think it would. A lot of disability advocacy is saying things in an echo chamber. I have previously written about sex many times and will probably start an anonymous blog at some point. Though for others feel free to write about sex but I am just skeptical how helpful it will be as the programming of society is fucked.
 
Posted at 03/06/2018 00:30:22 EDT 0 comments
 

POD, Business

 
Since I last blogged I went to P.O.D. and was fucked off that I found out about Simple Plan days before the gig and couldn't plan to go. How was P.O.D.? Music, good, venue staff, good, accessibility, shit, absolute shit. It had stairs and I couldn't go upstairs so sat on an arm chair at the back. What a fucking liberty as nan says, not my nan, a character off Caterine Tate. We were told it was accessible, Emailed the ticketing place who said that it was accessible, didn't hear back. What a fucking liberty. If I had known that I would have gone to Auckland instead of Wellington.

Nothing else to report as far as gigs etc.

In my work I have completed two 1890+ word product descriptions, working on the third. Apparently people like three sentence paragraphs and headlines. Obviously I'm not doing that here, if you can't be fucked reading long paragraphs that's entirely your problem and feel free to fuck off. I am even doing some article writing in spare time projects but most of it is programming. Half my work time is still programming. I am also working on making my sites compatible with mobile screens.

That's all for now.

Actually can I say how much I hate responsive site coding and backwards compatibility? Of course I can, it's my blog. There are no good solutions. I try to make my code as backwards compatible as possible unlike many piece of shit designers. They don't consider people with disabilities that are forced to use old technologies. Fuck them a thousand times. I am probably behaving this way because I collectively spent about a day on a problem and still not sure if the solution works in older browsers but it appears the best I can do. Or I am just an angry bastard, or insomnia, probably a combination. My main blogs aren't completely converted to a responsive design yet. Hopefully next month.
 
Posted at 05/05/2018 22:17:27 EDT 0 comments
 

Me, blogging, Wellington

 
If you think you know me, you probably don't. Most people assume that they know me because of my few year career as a comedian and these blogs. They only reveal so much. People make assumptions about what they think you are, it's all projection. Sometimes this has positive and negative consequences. Very few people know the real me if anyone at all, one is kind of close (and some people would probably mistakenly think it's them) but the rest of the people reading this probably only know me to a certain degree. I do like being honest but most people don't take an interest, though I also don't like talking to people online. People get their own ideas about who they think you are and go based on that. Even people in the right wing love the fact I'm politically incorrect etc.

One thing you probably don't know is that I used to be very good at getting my websites at the top of Google. Dominating rankings was as easy as buy keyword dot com. For my main business for eight years; I held the top spot. Since then I swapped the business for another business, was probably a mistake. I keep telling people I am a nerd and I like being a businessman so getting my sites on top of Google is important to me.

Things have changed, to be on top of Google you need about 1800 words, though probably less for less competitive terms. My point is maybe it's best for me to reduce my personal blogging in order to do this. Maybe this means just monthly blogs. I'll try to keep my weekly news blogs but I am getting fucking sick of the news recently. It's all what a fucking idiot Orange Buffoon is. At this point if he set off a nuclear bomb well that would least be different than people getting outraged that he is a racist asshole, or his tweets, or his tweets that prove he's a racist asshole. You probably seen I tend to brush off these types of stories, I am sick of this shit. It would also be ideal to pay a person to write articles for the business side but for now I am stuck with myself.

So perhaps this blog is going monthly.

Saturday I am in Wellington, I try not to publicly announce when I am going away these days. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean people are not trying to fuck you. No offense to people who like being fucked. And this is the reason I don't like advertising my accomlishments or connecting businesses to my name. I like saying crazy things and feel I can accomplish more from people behind the scenes. Plus there are advantages to people underestimating you, you can surprise them. It is also a good way to remind yourself that you're not a total narcissist and don't need to take credit for things.

Fuck taxis that come 1 and a half hours after you ordered them. I was looking forward to my home computer. It's Sunday. Fuck Christchurch taxi companies, they fucking suck. WHAT A FUCKING LIBERTY!
 
Posted at 08/04/2018 02:44:12 EDT 0 comments
 

Limp Biskit, Music, Dating sites

 
Monday I went to Limp Biskit. Had insomnia so really wasn't planning to go up the front. However I saw it wasn't crowded at break so probably against my better judgment I thought that I would. You kind of have to dance when you go up the front otherwise people will probably annoy you to get you to dance. Anyway met this girl, she got me further up the front. Limp Bisit even walked by me and gave me a "hell yeah". So that was my second favourite concert experience, even beating the one in LA. I also got a set list, a pick and a pair of drum sticks. Oh and a hat, not entirely sure that it is ethical to keep gifts from drunk people. I don't know for sure he was drunk. So now I have a hat.

I am finally working on my music site again, wait didn't I say a post or two ago that I have no time for music projects? I say a lot of things. I have been wanting to launch a music site for two years. If I don't do it now I'll probably never do it. I'll do it simultaneously with developing marketing automation tools in spare time. I am still progressing the production company but decided that it was a bit pointless working on screenplays if I don't have the capital to produce them. Using that time to launch stores instead. One is already up. I need to get better at marketing, that's why developing marketing automation tools is a key focus. Quiz sites could be something I do, was thinking last night I could combine them with my music site and create post event surveys, I know they're not quizes but very similar.

I was approached by a dating site to partner with a few weeks ago but later found out that they probably use chat bots. In other words they're scamming people by getting fake profiles to talk to them. Yeah, that is not the type of site that I wanted to run. Glad that I declined. Probably will do a site or two using my own software after one or two marketing automation tools are running. Also glad I'm happily single since half the sites are probably scams. Did join a specialized dating site a few years ago (not disability related) I didn't pay anything because I am a cheap bastard, glad I didn't now.
 
Posted at 24/03/2018 21:22:06 EDT 0 comments
 

Bruno Mars, Jimmy Barnes, James Blunt, business

 
Monday I went to Auckland, fucking accommodation was cancelled. They also didn't say it was cancelled until about four hours after we rang the booking company. They said they were sending a key. What the fuck? They should have told us it was cancelled when we first rang, or the second/third/forth time we rang. The hotel that we were staying at had a cancellation at about 10, had to pay extra for that room. Even a surcharge. What bastards actually. They could have waived the surcharge out of common decency.

Tuesday the booking company relocated us to the top floor at Barclays Suites. Nice! Good view. Then we went to Bruno Mars, some songs were good. The bangs can fuck off.

Thursday we went home.

Saturday I saw Jimmy Banes. Didn't really want to go after four days in Auckland and not being able to do programming but he was great. Most songs sounded the same though. Also enjoyed The Feelers. Didn't enjoy an annoying person putting my hands up. If dancing like that was natural for me I would already be doing that. Do people think I'm a puppet? Fuck off!

Thursday the next week I saw James Blunt. Don't really like his music so I wasn't sure if I could be bothered going. However I decided to buy a ticket Wednesday and go. Turns out, pretty good music. His most famous song is kind of crap but most of his other songs I was impressed with. I was amused that someone asked another person in a wheelchair if she liked James Blunt. I thought what a fucking stupid question to ask someone at a concert. I know that I said that I was not a fan of him before the concert, but I am the exception to the rule. Also I was glad that I went. Looking forward to Limp Bisit on the 19th.

Business wise I'm finishing up documentation for software products then maybe I will work on sales pages. On the creative business side I'm spending just one more half day on screenplays next week then I'm going to launch three separate clothing lines to help fund productions and other projects. I need to work out promotion strategies and work that into the price, and probably do the same for my software lines. Most of the time I spend on product development, however that can't go on and I need to start promoting.
 
Posted at 10/03/2018 17:58:27 EST 0 comments
 
Next

Copyright 2010 Beyond Fucked