Beyond Fucked


U2, Shawn Mendes

Friday I went to U2, Mt Smart Stadium staff are a bit paranoid frankly. They asked me to stop driving completely unnecessarily when I was already going somewhere. My view was fairly good from a segregated seat. I enjoyed Noel Gallagher. U2 were good.

Saturday I went to Shawn Mendes. I almost didn't go because of all of the screaming girls at these things but when U2 was playing I thought that it was more economical to go to both. I could better justify going because of economies of scale. Nobody took me to my seat and didn't know where it was so I just went on the floor up the front. I had no idea if I was supposed to be there but nobody complained. I was a bit off to the side but it wasn't crowded. Shawn saw me and gave me a peace sign, then patted me on the arm later. He came up to me twice. It was more fun than being at home. I wish I had video, but got a guitar pick, I don't know if it was Shawn's. I also forgot that I specifically wanted to be upstairs for this concert, to avoid crazy girls, sometimes my memory sucks, oh well, it worked out great!

I enjoyed Shawn's concert more because I was at the front and he came up to me, I also like collecting things from concerts.

Not having video is a fucking bitch but maybe I can look back on these blogs, and laugh at my own jokes. I say if you don't laugh at your own jokes you probably aren't funny!

Sunday I am at the airport for about four hours, just writing blogs, can't be fucked with WiFi. Was on WiFi at hotel but couldn't be bothered with Email or Facebook, that was pretty much off the grid when it comes to me, OK? Wrote most of some starter articles for a new partying product site I'm developing. Hopefully that's vague enough so fuckers don't steal my idea.
Posted at 11/11/2019 05:10:32 UTC 2 comments

Arts Access Awards, business

I don't know why I continue these blogs. I am busy and really can't be fucked. So talking about myself is burdensome. I am not a fucking narcissist hahaha.

Last month I hosted the Arts Access Awards; it was the best event I've hosted all year; it also was only event I hosted all year. However seriously it was a top event of my performing life, well I can't really call it a career. I totally can do corporate gigs. Not that I have any plans to do so. Performing is a skill in my back pocket in case everything goes to shit.

And everything is going to shit, I am not happy with my lack of financial success, I haven't been for the past 5 years. I am not happy that I haven't sorted eye tracking yet. I am happy with the websites I've created, I've just got to make them profitable. I still believe that I'm going in the right direction. However I don't feel successful, at least financially.

I have done so much in my life like performing overseas, performing in Parliament, wrote a book series, done speeches in Universities, appeared in a music video, went to like a billion concerts, danced with Anastacia. I've done things I don't wish to take credit for, I know you're shocked. I've made thousands of people laughed. Have I lead a great life? Sure. Do I feel successful? Not really. However life can always be tweaked. I believe that I can be successful.

I am successful in some ways. However I can do better. Some of my problems are self inflicted.
Posted at 03/10/2019 21:58:21 UTC 2 comments

Whining comedians

This month I'm randomly ranting about comedians. I am sick of their whining about political correctness. Good comedy in my opinion courage but comedians whining about people not liking their jokes is not courageous, it's pathetic.

Every industry has to adapt, why would comedy be different? You cannot make fun of the same minorities you could 20 years ago, and that's probably a good thing. If you do and you get booed or blacklisted that's on you.

Smart comedians will just adapt.

I'm not the biggest fan of gate keepers and some probably go too far. If you don't want to deal with them you could put on your own shows and/or start your own open mic.

Take the initiative instead of whining. If there's a market for your stuff you will succeed if not sorry people don't have to embrace your humour.

If you make fun of the powerful this wouldn't be so much of a problem. If you do the opposite then yes you're going to get shit.

You CAN control your jokes, you CANNOT control people's reaction to them. Instead of complaining endlessly why don't you modify your act?

If you're a rich comedian and complain, fuck you! I give no shits about you. You have enough of a following to do your own thing.

I have millions of dollars and annoyed people don't like my joke about transgendered people. Yes, fuck you!

If you're a poorer comedian, you just have to deal with modern society's expectations. It doesn't have to be a negative, try new things, refine. Perhaps you'll hit gold!

If you really don't like today's culture by all means find a way to develop your own following. I don't care.

Comedy regularly offends people and that's ok. Comedians should push boundaries but there's possible risks of doing so.

If you want a safe space to tell jokes, there's nothing stopping you from creating one.

Also some may consider me a whining (ex) comedian about other things, oh well. You're right and I don't care. However rich comedians complaining about audiences does genuinely fuck me off!
Posted at 04/09/2019 04:00:30 UTC 4 comments

Wellington, content sites, Rich rant

Went to Wellington for a meeting. Stayed at a hotel with crappy access. There was steps to the bathroom. Serious what the fuck? Meeting was scheduled when an international rugby match was on, that was probably a bad idea.

I have noticed that I like building content sites more than programming. I always seem to work extra on my content days. I am focusing on 3-4 industries, which frankly is a cut-down for me.

To people who insist you have to do one thing to be successful.
Steve Jobs wasn't really successful until he did iPhones, iTunes. He didn't just do Macs.
Amazon didn't make a profit for years and years and the company now has defense contracts, cloud services, wholefoods. It is not just one thing.
Richard Branson had multiple things.
Rich people are also rich largely because they're tight asses and do a lot of investing. Many rich people are complete cheapskates. I know this from YouTube videos and dating a guy from a wealthy family. It's not really to do with doing one thing and getting good at it, it's more financial strategy. There's a reason why half of lottery winners go broke.

Even if most rich people do one thing, they have other investments too.

While I'm not great at sticking to one thing, I've done some stuff for years and sooner or later some will be successful. I've launched about 6 websites this year and a few more are planned. This is different from previous years where I just did programming. I am getting more sites up and am feeling great. Some sites are small or can be semi automated.
Posted at 01/08/2019 04:33:05 UTC 1 comment


Honestly I feel disturbed, and not in a good way. Recently I learned that people with disabilities are denied medical care that others get. I read about how beds are inaccessible in Australia so people don't women don't get appropriate examinations. Apparently denial of care happens in NZ but people and articles aren't good at providing credible sources so I have to do more research into this. If you have particular examples please message me. I have discovered other disturbing facts about disability and the medical industry but I don't really feel like typing horrible events here, at least about other people.

This makes me wonder if am I a bad disability advocate. I often wonder the same thing about gay rights, considering I do more disability work.

Perhaps blaming yourself for systematic issues is a bit narcissistic. I also don't like to refer to myself as a advocate frankly. However it's clear to me that there's critical issues that need resolving and people need to do more and this includes myself.

However I am also happy continuing doing other stuff. It is about balance though, that balance is out of sync currently.

I do view myself best suited to providing strategic advice and delegation. Mainly because I like to focus on multiple things at once. I'll also try to create more disability content for my network of sites.

Perhaps this is self serving however I truly believe that growing a strong network would help the entity advocate in the long run.

NGOs are apolitical mostly and in my opinion they screw themselves by doing this. Political organizations also frankly play it too safe.

I believe that freeing yourself of maximum restrictions is the only way to do anything. Sometimes this means freeing yourselves from the group think in the disability community. However other times it's worthwhile to listen, research and change your mind.
Posted at 03/07/2019 04:17:19 UTC 0 comments

Broods, Angerfist, Life

Saw Broods again, couldn't understand a word they said but good to have a night out with a friend.

Saw Angerfist, loved it. Took a picture with him. Well he wears a mask so I assume he's a he. I also assume he was actually there and not some random local wearing an Angerfist mask. I'm joking of course!

I launched a music themed website, finally and probably will launch a few more in this area. I probably should just mainly focus on passion niches going forward. Knowing me I will probably just continue doing random shit but that's ok, something will pay off eventually. As long as I am slightly more focused on a few passion niches and getting stuff out there I will be happy.

The good thing about passion niches is you can do what you love as a business. I have always wanted to do concert reviews but unfortunately I do too many things so that hasn't happened yet but hopefully I can sort this eventually.

A problem with traveling for business is you have to take an assistant for a person like me. This adds up over time. Also considering airpoints, I could have gone on a free overseas trip already but of course I'm a cripple so I have to pay for two people. This also fucks me for conferences etc. So I have to do better at earning airpoints and do more to structure business around traveling.

I did get the eye tracking API working with my own accessibility software but I still have to assess how accurate it is and need to sort out a switching system first. Unfortunately I'm having issues.

Aside from that I'm working on something to semi automate Twitter usage and something to check statistics for multiple affiliate programs in one place. Nobody cares but this is my blog so I will write what I like.

I could write about this new guy I am seeing but I am happily single so can't do that. Normal people also talk about their offspring, don't have those and I am thankful, and I would probably make a disastrous dad. I get sick of people if I spend too much time with them. People post about their pets. I wanted a new dog but said to myself they cost money.

People regard me as cheap but really I just know how to hyper focus my spending on things that make me happy. I have to pay double for airfares anyway so yes I'm going to be even cheaper. Plus there's lost productivity since I operate the computer slowly. I need to get better about investing so money works for me. The same goes for websites, I really need to make them work for me better.
Posted at 05/06/2019 06:58:07 UTC 0 comments

Software and music projects

Currently frustrated, am coding too much, need to get more things up. Though have launched about 4 sites this year and have a few more coming up. I should have more fun which is not related to getting sites up, I am super busy and need to have more fun.

I deeply regret not using OpenCV for eye tracking development, I probably could have completed that years ago. I'll probably revisit it soon.

I badly need a new computer, but accessibility software sucks so I am forced to create my own. Hopefully that's nearly complete.

I acquired publishing rights to my books. I don't really have time to get that sorted but will anyway. I really wanted to delegate that income stream. On the bright side I'll have an additional asset.

I don't really do anything other than coding and web development. I wish that I could travel more, and go clubbing. Though I can't really be fucked going out, that's half the reason I quit comedy. So I need to connect clubbing to my business somehow. More on this in future blogs.

Comedy was a business, but I primarily liked writing the jokes. I liked performing at the time but I just couldn't get myself to want to do it constantly. I am too use to my own company. Interacting with people can be exhausting and going out can be burdensome if you'd rather spend time writing software. I don't really want to go to concerts nowadays. Though I can't find a decent gig in Auckland. I could have gone to Boyzone, but they suck. Shawn Mendes, I am sick of the screaming fans. I don't want to spend money on someone I've seen before, that rules out half of the music industry. I liked going to Auckland occasionally, but I haven't been motivated to do that recently.

I need a music role that would allow me to dip in and out whenever I want. I have something in mind but can't do it without massive capital.

On a positive note I am slowly phasing in music projects, but I need to create an income stream for these to build that capital. Hopefully this works out.

I have problems with people stealing my ideas, so I could be more reserved about what I give away.

So key focuses for the immediate future is getting self publishing sorted, getting one or two music sites going and fine tuning technology to have sites update at least semi automatically. Oh hopefully eye tracking with an API is a few weeks away!
Posted at 03/05/2019 05:33:39 UTC 0 comments

Wellington, Work, Running as a candidate

OK I haven't done this in a while. You're lucky I am blogging. I have shit to do.

Basically did nothing except went to Wellington last weekend. Fucking booking site didn't pass on the fact I needed an accessible room. Fucking incompetent. My flight home was late. Apparently it's perfectly acceptable to be late if you are in the medical, transport or aviation industry. I have shit to do!

I still haven't wound down programming at work. I may do that soon. I am not inspired to do programming anymore. I want to launch more websites. I am currently doing a site in a passion niche. I am probably going to create a game around the niche, but that would require more programming. Programming isn't really the problem, I am just uninspired to start new projects and like doing content sites. I think I can do a game. I started a game interface seven years ago but never completed it. I have a ton of things like this. I do need to do a map interface. That is going to be fucking long winded, created one before. Oh well, gives me something to work on in my spare time instead of being frustrated because I can't pick something to do.

I currently have two things I do in my spare time. (This is different from regular work time.) SEO research software and a another passion niche. I need to do less of the first because I am neglecting stuff I really want to do.

This doesn't contain much humour but whatever. Someone will only steal my jokes anyway!

Someone recently suggested I run as a candidate, again. People like to connect with people, I cannot talk. I don't see that happening. Also if there are debates I am fucked. I know that I am good, but it's probably impossible for me to create software that I can use to debate. Many people have suggested I run, some were probably being sarcastic. I also frankly like my job, yes I just finished bitching about how bored and uninspired I am. I have complete freedom to go anywhere I want, say anything I want. Especially considering I completely avoid attaching personal brands to businesses. In public life I would probably be asked to apologize every 5 minutes, and be asked to apologize again when I say fuck off I'm not apologizing. I am in the industries I want to be in all because I create sites for those industries. Granted I need to be better at making sites successful instead of constantly programming. Being in office sounds like a nightmare, I do need to improve my life, but that isn't how I would do it.
Posted at 04/04/2019 03:26:07 UTC 0 comments

Slash, Fatboy Slim, Lilly Allen, Auckland, The Prodigy, Conclusions

Fuck, I have been to so many concerts recently I am having trouble remembering them all.

First, Slash in Auckland. I didn't really want to go but the event with All Saints was cancelled and the flights and accommodation were already booked, the music was OK. The fucking accommodation was going to put us upstairs the first night so we stayed elsewhere the first night. I got back Monday.

Wednesday I went to Fatboy Slim. There was a particularly annoying blond woman trying to hold my hand all night. That's not the way I like to dance. Fuck off! The only way that I could stop her was shoving my hands in my back rest. Another blond was staring at me for some reason. Another woman said that she hoped someone was helping me, well she can fuck off too I am not fucking hopeless. And people wonder why I spend all day on a computer! Despite this it was one of the best concerts I have been to. They let me backstage when Fatboy Slim came on, which looking back has segregation issues but I was just hoping to meet Fatboy Slim, and I did. So that was fucking awesome. He tried to read my board but only got a few letters. Points for trying though. I was given a T shirt too. Excellent!

Friday I went to Auckland again.

I can't see me going to Auckland as much this year. I have been to 50 concerts, there's also nobody coming that I want to see. There's a few in Christchurch I am going to. I have got to go to Wellington twice this year which frankly is worse because I like cities with bigger populations. Wellington is just a hilly version of Christchurch. Some nice buildings though. I mainly go to Wellington because I am obligated to. I'll go to Auckland again when someone decent comes along. I am getting sick of being away from my main computer.

Saturday I went to Lilly Allen. I managed to get in the second row. It was a good view when people weren't in my way. Some guys additionally went in front of me for the last song however the woman beside me told them to go elsewhere. The first act looked like she was in an orange jump suit. Issue was a great concert!

Wednesday I saw The Prodigy, good music. Terrible venue! They fucking segregated me. I have been in hard rock mosh pits before so they can fuck off with their namby pamby conservative discriminatory crap. They restricted my access because I have a disability. Fuck them!

Saturday I went home.

Conclusion: If I want to dance in the crowd perhaps pop music is best. Although I don't really like being around screaming silly fans. Perhaps D&B/house/trance at clubs is a happy medium. I could be a DJ, but hate personal brands, I prefer to stay the background. My dream would be to manage a band and travel around with them. Alternatively own a club. Neither is something I can do until I get major cash flow.

Wrote 5244 words while away. Most was content for websites. Hope that they help with cash flow eventually!
Posted at 07/02/2019 02:32:30 UTC 0 comments

2019 plans, new years eve

I think that I did fuck all since my last blog entry. Happy 2019 or fuck 2019 depending on your mood. My goals are to continue developing SEO analysis and niche research software and make a fuck ton of money with the results. The first phase is completed but need to improve it and finish the niche research system. I expect this to be ready in a month. I need to spend less time programming and more creating content sites, this is not going terribly well but hopefully I can do this in March. I need computer upgrades, and I want a disco light system for my room eventually. Well that and a wall TV. I was just given a TV and I grateful for that but I have a vision of a few screens me around plus a wall TV, you have to work towards something, right? I'm crap at making money but need to change it this year. I say that every year but late last year I acquired some premium SEO courses and education. Hopefully I can put these to good use and get some capital to invest. I hopefully have just about finished an eye tracking system. It's not the system I originally wanted but will hopefully do for now. I also want to launch Windows programs and do more marketing of my web products. I want to launch a (better) clothing website with funny T shirts. Hopefully I'll get around to launching a music site this year too. I wanted a production company but that will have to wait until capital starts flowing in, whenever the fuck that is. I am crap with making money because I focus on building many types of software instead of getting things out to the world but the SEO software will help me do that. Oh I went out on new years. Fucking chair malfunctioned. This head gear is a piece of shit, needs replacing. First bar I went to it was completely dead in the dance area, everybody was in the smoking area. So went to Mickey Finns. Then went to Rock Pool which was more to my and/or I was piss drunk because I enjoyed it much more. I really don't like bars with cover bands. I find that boring. It's always the same songs that you hear every time.
Posted at 23/01/2019 02:15:46 UTC 0 comments

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