Beyond Fucked


ICU and health

I haven't blogged for a long long time. I was writing articles in my work time, so just didn't want to write in my spare time, too. These days, I mainly get interviews as content, but I have fallen out of the habit of doing personal blogs.

I intended to do a catch up blog a few months ago, but that didn't happen. I'll still do this in future, probably.

Last month I spent 7 days in the ICU for pneumonia. It'd be redundant to tell you that I survived. I didn't know if I was going to, since I was hooked up to drips, and I move a lot.

The ICU staff were mostly good, but there was one ignorant nurse. I don't think that some of them had optimal practices for not spreading germs. But, they save lives. Whatever their salary, tripple it. I spent one night in the ward and thought fuck this. I went home. This was probably a reckless decision, but I am still here.

Two more reckless decision I made were getting the feeding tube out a few days before they were comfortable to do that. Again, I am still here. I figure they'd give me the all clear to eat soon, so fuck feeding tubes. I was partially right. The other reckless decision was pulling my oxygen out countless times, it was the only way I could get their attention. I needed a help button and perhaps a simpler tray. Most understood my communication tray surprisingly.

I was very fucked off that specialists didn't work on weekends.

I slept fuck all during my stay. I tried listening to classical music and bird sounds, didn't work. They wouldn't sedate me, I specifically asked for them to do this. However, they said they wouldn't do it due to risks for people with chest infections.

When I had visitors, I decided not to talk mostly. I figured that it would use too much energy.

I have always hated eating food with a passion. It's boring, I have to take time away from my computer. I just don't have the emotional attachment to eating that other people do. However, I think I surprised myself, because I still want to eat. I'll move to a stomach pump when absolutely necessary, I still want to eat until then.

I needed to change my diet. I am mostly fine with this. I can still get intoxicated. There are a few things that are painful to give up, but oh well.

Facebook facebook facebook. Sorry but almost dying would be easier if I wasn't on facebook. There were too many people to correct that ate up time. People asking if you're OK when you felt like absolute shit. I do genuinely hate facebook and typing on facebook most of the time. I have hated facebook for years. So, spending time on facebook when I just came out of hospital probably made life even more unbearable for me.

They said the problem was my swallowing, I actually think they're wrong. I think that I had bad reflux one night and it travelled to my chest. Perhaps if I made more of an effort to vomit this entire thing would have been avoided. However, I'm still accepting the dietary changes to minimize potential risks. I don't want to die or spend another week in ICU.

I am all for minimizing risk. There's no guarantee of an after life. If there's one, then it'd probably be filled with completely annoying people, or I'll be tortured for the rest of time. I'm staying here for as long as possible.

If prayers are your thing, then OK. When I am absolutely desperate I mentally talk to the universe, just in case someone is listening, they probably are not, but it can't hurt, unless they do the opposite just to spite me. But this didn't happen the last two times I really did this.correlation does not equal causation.

What really saved my life was me. Going to an acute appointment which was two days before my scheduled one and semi cooperating with the doctors, I am taking credit, me me me.

I didn't bother with computers in the hospital. I really needed a way to mount my computer on the bed. I'm not sure if this would be allowed in ICU.

I absolutely hated the trillion pillows they would put in the bed. I needed to move around. Perhaps belts would have been more effective to stop me sliding down the bed. My bed is now on a tilt at home. I've noticed this lessens spasms. I sleep on my left side, but I am finding it easier to sleep on my right, too.

The first worst thing about this was that I missed an interview with some guy because I was slow to respond to an Email. I know, this seems like completely fucked up priorities. But this blog is about honestly. You can fuck off if you don't like my opinions.

The second worst thing is they scared my family with doomsday bullshit. Apparently I was never going to come off of oxygen and needed to be institutionalized.

I am home and feeling fine.

I posted on facebook that the doctors gave me a timeline for end of life. They said this as part of the doomsday predictions, I have absolutely no reason to take them seriously on the timeline.

I'm hoping that I can take better care of my chest and avoid this happening again.

I'll do another blog on about a separate issue. Fucked if I know when.

Thank you to family, friends and people who I barely know for their support throughout this. I make no apologies for my attitude or bluntness. If you don't know me by now, that's your problem. This probably undercuts my first sentence. But, thanks everyone again. Let's hope that this fuckery isn't repeated.
Posted at 09/04/2023 04:23:45 UTC 372 comments

Time management, trance festival next year

I don't really want to do this, I have shit to do. I need to make better use of my spare time instead of spending half of it on Twitter. I need to better manage my work time.

I am going to quite a few concerts next year. I also plan to go to Europe for a trance festival. I considered the same trip three years ago, but obviously I couldn't go when covid hit and there was no vaccine. Shock horror vaccines make things better! Except I've entered a new ultra cheap phase in my life., I can hear my family saying "You've always been cheap" Not really true, I just reserve my money for things that I really like!

Again, shit to do, bye!
Posted at 07/07/2022 03:03:36 UTC 1865 comments

Knee switch, Interviews, New Sites, Twitter

After about 24 years of using a knee switch I have decided to give it up and have two buttons on my tray instead. I have been getting constant rashes on the back of one leg. Hopefully the change resolves the problem. I access the computer slower, which I am not happy about, but it could be for the best. I just started a TV interview website and I am going to do one for the music industry. I love interviewing people, especially when they say "good question" or "It was a pleasure talking to you". Makes me feel real good. I am also going into providing offline services such as DJ light hire, but not directly. I am basically just selling my friend's hire service. Also I might explore doing this for other services for example paving. I also started a Twitter where I just rant about TV show. It's fun. I already have more followers than my right-wing account. I am not right-wing, I was just trying to get gullible MAGA idiots to follow me as a test, it didn't work out. Maybe I'll purge that account.
Posted at 02/06/2022 09:06:08 UTC 653 comments

Mainly about writing articles


I really should write in my news blog. Every week I say that I am going to do it, but don't. Well say, think to myself is what I mean. You knew that, well unless you're an idiot.

No progress on my production company mainly because I am primarily writing articles for my websites nowadays. I have written some scripts, but frankly people are flakey and don't follow through on things. Perhaps I should fund raise so I can pay people.

I don't really have anything to say. da da da, da da da, you're still here?

I would like a satirical website but I don't have time to write a satirical blog. However people are using AI to write articles. I probably should be using AI to write articles. Problem is AI doesn't always deliver factual content. I think that with satire it doesn't necessarily have to deliver factual content, obviously. I will give this a try.

I am trying to build up a DJ website, but most of the articles have to be 3,000 words long. I've written shorter books. I published one recently but I think it got no sales. I don't really want AI content for my DJ website, but I may consider it. I can only do 500 words a day writing myself. I love having a DJ website, but the writing is kind of tortuous, solely due to article length.

Just realized I have things to do, so I'm fucking off, bye.
Posted at 05/05/2022 07:48:29 UTC 144 comments

Press, Covid, Masks, short story

Tuesday I did a press event that had Snoop Dogg and a bunch of lesser known singers. I had to ask a question to each singer. I have also done one on one interviews with TV personalities for the same website. I do need better technology for doing panels and press events. I'll do this soon. I'll program custom software for this.

What else happened? I went to the dentist. Most of my family got covid. I never tested positive but probably will eventually.

I generally don't have a problem with masks. My only complaint is it obstruct views of hot guys. I quite like wearing them. I am not strange, people are just moaners. FFS the amount of moaning from people during the pandemic is unbelievable. I don't want to do this. I don't want to do that. I don't want to help the community. Bill Gates wants to track me. And people wonder why I don't want to spend time entertaining people. People suck.

I just have 500 words to go to complete my first short story. It will not be released under my name and I won't be publicizing it under my name. Uh it's adult themed, let's leave it at that.
Posted at 06/04/2022 08:50:51 UTC 408 comments

Life, production company, NFTs, charity

Life isn't as bad as the start of the year. It's pretty much normal now.

Except I'm taking some time off from programming to focus on a production company. I figured programming wasn't really making me money so why not switch careers? You can probably think of a million reasons. I need to spend more time writing productions; the first week was frankly a failure. But hopefully I can get on to it soon. I did manage to release two videos last month including a cartoon.

I launched a NFT collection, but it's not for sale because I don't have the crypto currency to do that. I may release some more legitimate NFTs on another website to get what I need. The current collection is some extremely crappy JPEGs designed to make fun of the NFT industry. I don't know if they will actually sell, probably not, or I could become a millionaire. Who knows? I'm not taking NFTs too seriously, the industry is frankly a joke. But why not fuck around and do parodies of NFTs? I don't think that many people are seeing the humour in my projects. Some see the humour, but this probably doesn't have wide appeal. I'm fine with this. I have a saying; my jokes are for myself, if I amuse other people it's a bonus.

I have also decided to use some of my website assets to raise money for charity. Perhaps more information about this in the next blog post.
Posted at 03/03/2022 04:40:39 UTC 113 comments

State of things

I am aware I may have cash flow issues in future so temporarily i have decided to work on a single project primarily. Hopefully the initial project will launch within four weeks. In addition I'm still working on merchandise. Due to cash flow issues and doing a quick analysis of the top sellers I have decided to change approach and I am hoping the new products are profitable. I also feel like I am flexing my comedy muscle more with the new approach. Hopefully my designs will continue to get better. I am still planning to do video and create a disability oriented production company but haven't found the time to do this recently.

I would like to announce that I have a minority stake in a record label, and comedy club. Unfortunately I invested in an AI company and that has gone south. Shit happens I guess. The primary problem was programmers were paid and 2/3 didn't return anything usable. Escrow should have been used. Again shit happens. Maybe I should have been C.E.O. instead; I certainly wouldn't have paid the programmers if I had anything to do with it. Also I said to focus on revenue generating products initially, I wasn't listened to. I hope I am not opening myself up to legal problems by posting this. My current cash flow issues isn't related to this, and I have plans if shit hits the fan, which is looking very likely. My situation isn't ideal but I know that I am probably going to be fine and secure.
Posted at 03/02/2022 06:42:44 UTC 99 comments

Interviews and 2022 plans

I had a mixed end of year, some parts really really awful, some parts really really good. I don't want to put out the awful parts, hopefully this will resolve in four months. I am suddenly interviewing US actors and going to Zoom press events. I have a friend with a TV website, and I am doing this for her. Well I'm doing this for myself, but she gets the content. It's time intensive but not too bad.Interviews take 3-8 hours with writing questions, viewing any screeners, testing questions with text to speech.

This year I want to fund some disability screen productions, by that I mean crowd fund or bootstrap. I want to build a disability talent agency, production company and record label. I do most things in my non work time. But I have dozens of projects and things don't end up getting done. Actually I did try to get a video up. People weren't terribly interested in helping. I also mainly focus doing projects in the music space and another industry. But I want to do the disability oriented projects, even if I delegate most of the work.

I am back going to concerts this year, fucking people prolonging the pandemic.

I am planning to sell more products online too.

I need to blog more on my news website, I get too busy these days.
Posted at 01/01/2022 03:31:25 UTC 91 comments

DJing, Questions

I own a portfolio of music/partying websites and a partying merchandise brand on Amazon. I am starting a site about DJing to add to my portfolio. I planned to do this for a year or two. I hesitated because I'm not a DJ or mixer. Considering some of my other websites this was a silly hesitation. But I thought that I'd use Black Friday deals to purchase hosting for the website. Yeah, I'm cheap. By the way Black Friday pricing didn't appear so I learned that Googling for coupons is good, I'll do this more often.

I am going to learn to mix music, not because I want to be a professional DJ. I feel that I can better write for my website if I have the skills. Of course I would love to do a few club gigs eventually. I think if I didn't rely on assistants maybe I would consider it as a career but I don't like being famous. I still don't know if live mixing is possible as each action would take 10 seconds but I'm going to try... Just messaged two DJs, they said it'd be fine if I took 20 seconds, I guess there's nothing stopping me now! I gave them a worse case to just to make sure I could definitely do this.

One of my new hobbies is going on actor zooms and asking really unconventional questions like "how does it feel playing a stupid character", "do you look at the scripts and think this is ridiculous" and "what's it like being a soap hunk". I also asked DJs if they've even been so drunk they couldn't use the equipment. The answers I get are entertaining so I'm going to continue doing this.
Posted at 01/12/2021 01:52:53 UTC 144 comments

Grindr and other stuff

Joined Grindr. I am already thinking about deleting Grindr. I'm having much luck as I thought I would. What's amazing is you have no public profile pictures and people message you wanting to hook up. This was the case even before I filled out a profile. I wonder if people on Grindr can actually read. You put clear things in your profile and people who do not fit the criteria you specified message you anyway. I don't have time to waste on people I'm not interested in, I'll probably delete the app soon.

Ohhhhhhh am I too negative? GOOD! At least I don't fake being positive.

I need to work on video projects, I will probably reduce other work to do this. I probably said this last month but eh fuck it I don't remember what I said last month. Trying to think of something else to type. Actually I have work to do, bye
Posted at 03/11/2021 05:31:28 UTC 116 comments

Copyright 2010 Beyond Fucked